Dream Baby

DH and I have decided to wait until BC's birth to find our the gender. Some wonder how we can stand it. Since we've decided to opt out of getting ultrasounds there's not temptation to ask the tech or care provider. Plus, that's just one more thing I'm not ready to think about.

Some have asked if I have an inclination one way or the other. DH is hoping and has convinced himself 97.7% that we're having a son. On the other hand I know I can get carried away in my own imagination, as some already have.

"No one is more obsessive compulsive and neurotic than me and I'm gonna teach him everything I know...you don't see me worrying about that (although, maybe now YOU are...LoL)... We're gonna teach him how to sing and love music and play "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" on the violin... (smile)... We're gonna teach him Spanish and Portuguese and French and English and Pig Latin...We're gonna take him to museums and exhibitions so he learns to appreciate art in its various forms...We're gonna read books to him and make the characters come alive so that he falls in love with reading...We're gonna travel the world with him so that at the mere mention of an airplane his eyes shine with the excitement of a brand new adventure... We're gonna teach him to close his eyes and love the feel of the sun on his face and the feel of the wind through his body... We're gonna teach him to love forcefully and recklessly and stand up for those who are weaker than he is...We're gonna teach him to swim and roller blade and ride a horse (hey, I live in Texas... I believe every kid should know how to ride a horse...)"... Thanks Tia Mags.

My mother's side of the family places a lot of stock in dreams. For instance, the week before we shared the news of the pregnancy, my grandmother, uncle and two cousins dreamt that there was a family member pregnant. Two of those dreams were about twins. . . we'll see if that comes to past.

I try to practice more caution. Although, a few nights ago I am convinced that I met my baby. Somehow the dream dropped me in the middle of my busy life a few months after the birth. Though we were all attending the same even, my parents were taking the baby home with them. Before they drove off, I wanted to get my first glimpse, to say good-bye to the baby.

As I climbed in the backseat of the vehicle, a round caramel face with shining eyes and dimpled chin, greeted me cheerfully. There were dark curls gathered in a single ponytail sitting directly on to of the head adorned with a pink bow. As I nuzzled her neck to give kisses and drink in that lovely baby smell, my baby began to wriggle with joy. I sat back to observe her and she opened her toothless mouth to let silent laughter escape, while her eyes turned into thin slits like her mama's when she's having a hearty laugh.

Then I was on my way to where ever I was going, so busily.

As I sit here, trying to be realistic, I can't say I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the baby from my dream is the one I will birth in September. I do know my dream baby will be part of my life because she's been birthed in my heart.